WALA: Using poetic devices to craft a good poem that puts a picture in your head. We understand why we are writing - what's the purpose - and can shape/craft our ideas with effort.
Old Rugby League Post’s
Every Saturday I am like a goalie at each end of a hockey pitch
instead of moving I stay still
Every Saturday Kids come to play Rugby League
Kick balls across my Cross bar since I am a giant H
Every Saturday I am bigger than anyone else on the field
Every Saturday my colour is like the brown bark on a tree
Every Saturday kids rub there hands on me
like a piece of wood on an old piece of sandpaper
Every Saturday I look across the field and see someone doing the same as me
Hi Emily, I like the way you chose to use the repeated phrase, it gives it a nice grounded feeling. I also like the way you chose to describe the other goal post at the end, I can almost picture one post looking over at the other goal post and thinking "gee, poor guy, look at him standing there just like me!" : )
ReplyDeleteI did see a few extra words, that don't add to Visual image you're creating for the reader, that you could take out and see how it sounds. Check in Monday or Tuesday for that. Miss J
Thank-you I will have a look when I am finished with the tailing.
ReplyDeletehi emily i really like your poem your should writing keep poems
ReplyDeletefrom jazmyn
Thanks Jazmyn!
ReplyDelete